Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.Sounds like fun, right? Well, my story is exactly 200 words and opens and close with "The door swung open." (I know it doesn't end with shut but opens fits with the story.) I hope you like it! If you do, click here to vote for mine! I'm #70.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)
For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
The door swung open. Simon entered the stuffy attic and sneezed. He wiped the snot on his sleeve and glanced around.
He opened the closest trunk. To his disappointment, there were only old clothes inside.
A loud rumble of thunder sounded, and Simon jumped, almost hitting his head on the low ceiling.
Toward the back of the attic, Simon found a tiny trinket box on a small, round pedestal. A bright, red light shone, radiating from a stone nestled on the soft velvet material inside the box.
The attic door opened, and Simon slammed the box shut and whirled around. "Hi, G-grandpa."
"Whatcha doing?" His grnadpa puffed from his pipe, and smoke encircled around his head.
"N-nothing."
Grandpa smiled and winked. He nodded toward the box. "There are some treasures up here, that's to be sure. But sometimes, treasure comes with a price." With that, Grandpa turned around and left.
A price? Simon didn't like the sound of that. He hurried after his grandpa and closed the attic door behind him.
But he couldn't stop thinking about the stone. A short time later, he found himself near the attic door. Would the price be worth it?
The door swung open.
44 comments:
I like it. It's so cool to see what everyone does. I'm #72
OOOOOOOOOH! Me likey! Very, very good and I'm so impressed that you made it exactly 200 words!
Thanks for dropping in from the group...I'm testing the waters as well---writing just about everything lately :)
Nice, Nicole. I'm a new follower and fellow campaigner. Your story...well, I want to know what happens next. It's that good.
Very nice! I'm not sure I have time for the challenge but I'm going to try ... I'm following you now, as part of the platform campaign. Cheers.
Good scene! I'm so envious of all you quick writers who already have your fiction work done for the challenge. I have yet to have a moment to sit down and do it. Hopefully this evening. :)
Nice to meet you!
I have to wonder what the price will be! And what the stone is . . . great piece!
I expect nothing less from you! Pure awesome! Truly gifted fabulous!!
I'm glad to hear you had a fabulous birthday weekend, but now I can't wait to hear all about it!
You've aroused my curiosity with this little tale. I'd love to find out what happens next. Well done. :)
What an ominous thing to say to your grandson! :P
Excellent! Love the one-liner from the Grandpa. It's so, so true.
My fifteen year old son and I are reading some of these posts...We both love yours! We want to know what happens...lol. Great take on the challenge. We also like that the door opens at the end, opposed to closing. It almost seemed to beckon the boy back. ~ Nadja
Ooh, very reminiscent of the beginning of an epic fantasy :D
Great job! It does fit to have that as the ending. I do wonder what's up there and what the price will be. I love the mystery!
Great story. I love the symmetry of it.
This sounds like a seed to an excellent adventure!
Great story. I wonder what that jewel in the trinket box is all about...
I'm totally intrigued :) What happens next!?!? Great job.
I'm with Angie what happens next. I want to know, what is the price and is it worth it?
Sounds like a good beginning to a MG story :)
Ah, he can't resist the temptation...I think he may be in for some trouble.
Every Savage Can Reproduce
It remand me of one of my favorite quotes: The only thing I can't resist is temptation....and of course that always leads to our detriment doesn't it...LOL
Thanks for the visit and I really like the piece you just did.
Very nice Nicole! You have me wondering about the suite!:)
Hi Nicole. Great piece! I'm a fellow campaigner in the short stories group stopping by to become a new follower and say hello.
Great set-up! I'd love to see what happens next!
So mysterious! I'm curious as to what happens next. Awesome entry, well done. :)
Nice to meet you, by the way. I'm in your dystopian group, and I'm finally getting around to introductions. (A little late, but nonetheless!)
Good question! What was the price worth, or was grandpa just messing with his head? Awesome entry, Nicole! :)
Great voice, and I like the way you incorporated the door at the end. Sweet!
This is the kind of stuff you need to keep on reading Nicole. I'd love to know if he goes in:)
What a fun piece. I love how it comes full circle.
Love the repeated sentence for the beginning and the end. My entry goes up tomorrow.
Would like to invite you and your readers to take a look at the The Rule of Three Blogfest ---a month-long extravaganza in the fictional town of Renaissance this October, with some great prizes, comment love, and of course, a lot of exposure and constructive feedback for your writing.
You write in so many genres, this would be right up your alley...for me I would love me some fantasy romance at Renaissance :)!
But... I want to know what the price is! IS it worth the treasure? Great hook :)
I definitely want to know more! I like the detail of wiping snot on the sleeve - it really grounds the the action and makes it very real.
nice. Loved how it comes around again.
Nice story, with a nice twist on the challenge at the end, with 'the door swung open'. I wonder what the price is...
this is very cool. Gosh I do love your blog, love the look.
ooohhhh- pick it up pick it up
I think the price is worth it, but why do the things that entice us have to come at a price!
Great story! I love how it begins and ends with the door opening.
I like it...I love attics!!
http://www.doreenmcgettigan.com
Very nice! I liked your twist. Temptation is hard to resist :)
Oh now I want to know what happens! Nice job!
I always appreciate a writer that can capture the child's voice. Well done.
What an intriguing story! I'd love to see where it goes. Good job.
Fellow group 18 Campaigner (I'm also #165 in the submissions)
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