The Writer's Voice - My query and first 250 words of Crystal's Magic

Plot Summary from Query:

God answers nearly all of fifteen-year-old Crystal's prayers. At least that's the way it seems since time slows down so she doesn't miss the bus and speeds up so she doesn't have to answer questions in class.

But after she discovers a note in a box hidden in her attic detailing how her now dead mother sought the help of witches to conceive her, Crystal’s faith becomes one giant question mark. She tracks down the witches and demands answers. Supposedly, Crystal is the human incarnation of magic—the only person whose magical potential is limitless. The witches also claim she's been answering her own prayers with her magic.

Although skeptical about being magic, Crystal's curious and struggles to learn how to fly and plays with magical fire. But it's not all fun and games. Witches and shamans have been fighting for centuries, and now, both sides want to use her power for their own gain. Then a witch hunter captures her boyfriend, and several shamans snatch her aunt. For someone with limitless magic, Crystal should be easily able to rescue them but every time her emotions run amuck, her magic goes haywire.  If she can't learn to control herself, she'll never be able to save them or end the war. Instead, Crystal just might start the Apocalypse and doom the entire world.

First 250 Words:


"Crystal? Are you dressed yet?"

Crystal Miller groaned and rolled over. Covering her head with her pillow, she peeked with one eye at her alarm clock. If she didn't leave the house immediately, she'd miss the bus.

She scrambled around the room, hopping into jeans, trying to throw on a shirt and brush her hair at the same time. Somehow she wrestled her way into some clothes (whether or not they looked good together she hadn't the time to worry about) and ran downstairs. Her kiss missed her mom's cheek. "Bye, Mom!"

"Wait, Crystal, you forgot your school bag." Her mom held it out for her.

Crystal grabbed it and groaned again when she spied the kitchen clock. There was no way she'd make the bus. It probably drove past her house five minutes ago.

Still, she had to try. She'd been oversleeping a lot lately, and her mom couldn't drive her in anymore. Her boss was rather strict, and Crystal knew she couldn't be late many more times before he threatened to fire her.

Crystal threw her bag over her shoulder and hurried out the door. As she raced to the end of the long, windy driveway, she prayed, Please, dear Lord, let the bus be there. Please let the bus be there.

She ran with her eyes closed. She never prayed with her eyes open. When she reached the end of the driveway, she opened her eyes.

The bus was just pulling to a stop.

Crystal grinned. Thank you, Lord.