Monday, May 21, 2012

2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest - The Storm








Here are the rules:
1. Entries must begin with the two words: Lightning flashed.
2. Entries must be 300 words or less and be in prose. I'm not versed enough in poetry verse to judge it properly.
3. Entries must be posted on your blog between May 21 - 23.
4. You must sign up in the linky below to have your entry be counted.
On May 25, I will announce the six finalists and open voting through May 28th.
On May 29th, my third year blogversary, I will announce the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners as well as a random winner selected from the participants list. All ties will be broken by Random.org.
Now what are the prizes?
First place - $25 gift card from Amazon
Second place - $20 gift card from Amazon
Third place - $15 gift card from Amazon
Random prize - $10 gift card from Amazon
If the winner prefers an alternate gift of equal value, I'm good with that. Contest in open internationally.

Here's my entry called THE STORM:

Lightning flashed.

Violet smiled. She loved storms, especially the rain. As a small child, she used to spread her arms wide, her face lifted to the clouds, as the rain kissed her.

Thunder boomed. Loud and powerful.

Another flash of lightning.

Violet stepped off her front porch.

Another rumble. This one even louder. The storm was getting closer.

Violet’s short hair matted to her forehead. Her dress clung to her legs, making it hard to walk.

She could feel the crackle of electricity, so close was the next strike.

Most people would not be out in this storm.

But Violet wasn’t like most people.

Her world was crumbling apart. Her fiancé had cheated on her, she had been fired from her job, she was behind on all of her bills, she hadn’t spoken to her father in years…

Yet, somehow, someway, in this moment, she was happy.

She raised her arms toward the heavens.

The thunder screamed and burst her eardrums.

Lightning coursed through her veins.

Violet dropped into a puddle, the murky, muddy water staining pink.

Dead.

Another bolt of lightning jolted her body, and Violet lifted her head.

Alive again.

But no longer human.

She had been wronged so many times in life. Now she had the chance to right those wrongs.

Starting with her no-good fiancé.

Violet was now a monster.

Her body transformed into water, and she slipped down a manhole into the sewers. Revenge would be hers.

And still the storm raged on.

35 comments:

Chris Fries said...

A fun twist! Just like Baron von Frankenstein cranking up the lightning juice to create his monster. Nicely done. ;^)

SA Larsenッ said...

Ooh, interesting. Totally had me. Nice job!

Charity Bradford said...

Wow! Did she plan the lightning striking her? I have so many questions now. I love having questions to find answers to.

Great job! I'd love to see what she does to the cheating fiance.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Twisted! I like it.

Summer Ross said...

Great twist I wasn't expecting!

Tyrean Martinson said...

Interesting twist!

Angela Brown said...

I went from feeling joy to feeling bad to feeling slightly afraid. Sounds like Violet has a chance for a little violence...and with what's happened to her, I can't say she isn't due a bit of recompense.

Von L Cid said...

She seemed so innocent at first, playing in the rain, and then you twist her all around. Well done.

Cherie Reich said...

Thank you for entering my 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest! The six finalists will be announced on Friday, May 25th. I will further comment on your entry on Thursday.

Laura said...

Great ending! She turned out so sinister, and would lead greatly into a longer story.

L. G. Keltner said...

I like sinister endings, and I enjoy seeing characters seeking revenge. It makes me want to know what happens next.

Carrie-Anne said...

Great story! I love how she started out seeming like an innocent child and then was revealed to be an adult with a macabre mind.

M Pepper Langlinais said...

Interesting concept!

Angeline Trevena said...

Loved the twist - revenge is sweet! Mwah ha ha!

Donna said...

Oh, I thought she was going to be like me in the rain...right up until she turned into a monster...I never did that. I wonder how she will seek revenge.

Amy L. Sonnichsen said...

Oooh, revenge. Nice twist. :)

Donna B. McNicol said...

Oh wow, you totally got me! What a great twist.

Andrea Teagan said...

ooohhhh, this is great. It started out so sweet and innocent. I especially liked the line "she used to spread her arms wide, her face lifted to the clouds, as the rain kissed her" and then at the end it goes very dark. Love it!

Andrea

Crystal Collier said...

Didn't see that coming. =) Lovely Nicole!

Heather Murphy said...

Did she come back to get revenge? I like this one!

Julie DeGuia said...

Love this! The sinister twist at the end definitely got my attention!

farawayeyes said...

Whoa! I really liked that. Revenge can be sweet.

Sylvia van Bruggen said...

Ohhh loved that twist!

Joshua said...

Wicked ending. Well done.

Colin Smith said...

Nice turn around at the end. Good idea, Nicole! :)

Allison said...

Wow, creepy. Great take on the theme!

Allison (Geek Banter)

Janel Gradowski said...

Revenge is best served wet? I love it. That ex had better watch out!

Jennifer said...

Ok. That took an unexpected turn. :)

Michael Pierce said...

I enjoyed it! A twisted turn is always fun.

Rek said...

I enjoyed this and the ending was brilliant and creative.

Elise Fallson said...

Loved the ending! Go get him!! (:

Mina Lobo said...

Awesome! And freaky! And intense! I dig the idea of lightning as a transformative agent. :-)
Some Dark Romantic

sjp said...

Interesting concept, structure suited the flow of events nicely, liked the imagery around her drenched figure

Jamie Gibbs said...

Very nice! I like the transformation and her desire for vengeance. Love it :)

Cherie Reich said...

Love the twist from the image of Violet as a child loving storms to the jaded woman to the monster. Great job!

I'll announce the finalists tomorrow.