Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Grief of Querying

Soon I'm going to start on that potentially long and arduous journey of querying. I haven't even started yet and it's already giving me grief so I decided to devote today's blog post to querying and the stages of grief.

Denial

I sent out one query letter an hour ago. Any minute now, my top agent will email and ask for the full. A few hours later, my top agent will email again asking when is the perfect time to call. To offer representation. Yeah, I'm that good.

Anger

I've sent out ten query letters so far and I've heard back from six already. All form rejections. Are you kidding me? What kind of hack agents are they that they don't know what a literary genius I am? Well, it's their loss. They'll be crying every night once I get a bazillon dollar deal.

Bargaining

A full request is a step in the right direction. Even if it does result in a rejection. Just ask for the full.

Ok, fine, a partial. Just read the first three chapters.

The first ten pages.

Read something besides the query letter.

Just respond to my query letter!

Depression

I'll never get an agent. I'll never find a publisher. I'm not a writer, I'm just a wannabe. I should cover my head with a paper bag. I couldn't even write my way out of a paper bag.

Acceptance

All I can do is write the best novel I can write. And tweak my query letter until it shines. Give myself every opportunity to shine. A lot of publishing requires perfect timing and luck. If I never put myself out there, I'll never become a writer.

Stratch that. I already am a writer.

21 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The bargaining one made me laugh out loud!

Aubrie said...

Nicole,

Keep querying! It took me four books of querying to get an agent. If I'd stopped after the third book, I wouldn't have one right now.

You have to keep at it!

Christine Fonseca said...

Good luck...and yea, I've gone through the entire cylce...YESTERDAY!

Dawn Malone said...

Excellent, funny post! It took me three novels to get an agent. The manuscript has yet to be sold, but I'm still writing whether it happens with this novel or the next or the next...

L.G.Smith said...

Isn't that the truth. What a cycle. I think we're all a little crazy.

Sarah Allen said...

So hilarious :) Hahaha! So true.

Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)

Danica Page said...

Hilarious post. Don't give up. Some of the greatest authors were rejected dozens of times before being accepted.

You can do it!

E.R. King said...

I'm in the, "I'm a writer whether you appreciate it or not, damn it!"
Great post!

Kate Larkindale said...

It's funny but it's true....

David Powers King said...

You totally hit the nail on the head with your post, Nicole! Thanks for sharing your humorous take on the process. :)

Oh, and I launched a giveaway today!

E. Arroyo said...

Ha! You're on the mark with this one. Great post.

Carol Riggs said...

Ha! What a great post. Love it. You summed this up so well! Best of luck as you query. :)

J.C. Martin said...

How very true. I'm kinda in the bargaining stage of querying at the moment. Have a full out and all I'm asking is for a reply...can't take the waiting!

J.C.

Join me in the Trick or Treat Spooktacular! Could you help make the Grand Prize a brand new Kindle Touch?

KarenG said...

I like the last one. Let's just start with that and forget all the misery in between.

K.T. Hanna said...

This is a great list. I'm about to start that horrible path too. Well, probably in January, but I think I like Acceptance the most.

Just have to keep at it and try not to let the rejections get you down.

salarsenッ said...

:) That's all I can do right now. Querying is rough work, and it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL! I love that.

Angela Ackerman said...

Oh man, this is so, so true. Not only of querying, but other parts of the process too, like critiques and revision letters.

Have a great weekend, Nicole!

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

katsrus said...

Good luck Nicole. Sounds like and exhausting process.
Sue B

Beth said...

I hate the process. Self publish. The big six keep putting out the same thing anyhow.

Donna K. Weaver said...

I love this! I'm getting very close and my query letter is on it's 9th edit. It's now in the hands of an author from whom I won a query critique.

I don't know if I can do this ...