Thanks for sending the partial ms. and synopsis of HIDDEN IN SHADOWS (a title that definitely sounds more commercial, to me, than TORN BETWEEN MURDER AND LOVE!). I enjoyed speaking with you about this novel at the recent Lori Foster Get-Together. And there was much I admired about the material here, from your rich world-building to your intriguing premise of a heroine who’s a professional assassin.
Yet that said, I’m afraid I don’t think this book is quite right for LUNA’s urban fantasy list at this time. While I wanted to empathize with the feisty and independent Lorna, I confess somehow I didn’t find her narrative voice quite as compelling as I’d hoped—perhaps because she seems (to my mind) almost a bit too self-confident, not allowing her reader to get close enough to see the vulnerabilities hidden beneath the surface.
No doubt I’m simply not the best editorial champion for this particular novel, and others more in tune with your vision will respond differently. Thanks again for sharing your work with me, and best wishes in finding HIDDEN IN SHADOWS the perfect publishing home.
This is definitely the best rejection I've ever received. Lorna undergoes a large character developmental change throughout the book. Perhaps it's a little too large, if people can't be initially invested into reading her story. I might end up taking Margo's rejection to heart and change the beginning of the story so Lorna isn't so cocky at first. Not sure just yet.