Denial
I sent out one query letter an hour ago. Any minute now, my top agent will email and ask for the full. A few hours later, my top agent will email again asking when is the perfect time to call. To offer representation. Yeah, I'm that good.
Anger
I've sent out ten query letters so far and I've heard back from six already. All form rejections. Are you kidding me? What kind of hack agents are they that they don't know what a literary genius I am? Well, it's their loss. They'll be crying every night once I get a bazillon dollar deal.
Bargaining
A full request is a step in the right direction. Even if it does result in a rejection. Just ask for the full.
Ok, fine, a partial. Just read the first three chapters.
The first ten pages.
Read something besides the query letter.
Just respond to my query letter!
Depression
I'll never get an agent. I'll never find a publisher. I'm not a writer, I'm just a wannabe. I should cover my head with a paper bag. I couldn't even write my way out of a paper bag.
Acceptance
All I can do is write the best novel I can write. And tweak my query letter until it shines. Give myself every opportunity to shine. A lot of publishing requires perfect timing and luck. If I never put myself out there, I'll never become a writer.
Stratch that. I already am a writer.
The bargaining one made me laugh out loud!
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteKeep querying! It took me four books of querying to get an agent. If I'd stopped after the third book, I wouldn't have one right now.
You have to keep at it!
Good luck...and yea, I've gone through the entire cylce...YESTERDAY!
ReplyDeleteExcellent, funny post! It took me three novels to get an agent. The manuscript has yet to be sold, but I'm still writing whether it happens with this novel or the next or the next...
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the truth. What a cycle. I think we're all a little crazy.
ReplyDeleteSo hilarious :) Hahaha! So true.
ReplyDeleteSarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)
Hilarious post. Don't give up. Some of the greatest authors were rejected dozens of times before being accepted.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!
I'm in the, "I'm a writer whether you appreciate it or not, damn it!"
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
It's funny but it's true....
ReplyDeleteYou totally hit the nail on the head with your post, Nicole! Thanks for sharing your humorous take on the process. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I launched a giveaway today!
Ha! You're on the mark with this one. Great post.
ReplyDeleteHa! What a great post. Love it. You summed this up so well! Best of luck as you query. :)
ReplyDeleteHow very true. I'm kinda in the bargaining stage of querying at the moment. Have a full out and all I'm asking is for a reply...can't take the waiting!
ReplyDeleteJ.C.
Join me in the Trick or Treat Spooktacular! Could you help make the Grand Prize a brand new Kindle Touch?
I like the last one. Let's just start with that and forget all the misery in between.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great list. I'm about to start that horrible path too. Well, probably in January, but I think I like Acceptance the most.
ReplyDeleteJust have to keep at it and try not to let the rejections get you down.
:) That's all I can do right now. Querying is rough work, and it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I love that.
ReplyDeleteOh man, this is so, so true. Not only of querying, but other parts of the process too, like critiques and revision letters.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend, Nicole!
Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse
Good luck Nicole. Sounds like and exhausting process.
ReplyDeleteSue B
I hate the process. Self publish. The big six keep putting out the same thing anyhow.
ReplyDeleteI love this! I'm getting very close and my query letter is on it's 9th edit. It's now in the hands of an author from whom I won a query critique.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I can do this ...